UtopYA: How One Conference Changed Everything

Where do I even begin? I've been home since Sunday, and my mind is still reeling. Was UtopYAcon informative? Absolutely! Did I learn more about the craft of writing, marketing, editing, and such? Without a doubt! But even among the things I took away from an author's perspective, the thing I learned the most about was ME.

I spent an entire weekend with a group of people who, although each person was different, we were all the same. And coming from someone who's never related to other humans, that's seriously saying something!

I think we all have preconceived notions of what to expect out of successful people. It'd be a lie if I
said I didn't walk into this conference (my 1st ever!) without my own ideas. I mean, did you see the list of celebrities there?! There were too many to even name. Like, author goddesses and blogging queens! I figured everyone would stick to their own little niches.

Bloggers, go to one corner. 

Future writers, go the next.

Readers, you're over here.

Authors, you're up front.

Then something amazing happened ... everyone got thrown in together like a big, creative melting pot of awesomesauce!!! It was phenomenal! And I can honestly say, not one person was looking past another, trying to find someone more important to talk to. No one stared down their nose like they were just tolerating your presence. It was the first time in my life I'd been around more than one female in a room and there weren't any underhanded attempts at sabotage. You  know what I'm talking about, ladies. That invisible current that sparks when women enter a room. You can feel it. I imagine that's what it's like right before you get struck by lightning. That ominous sense of your impending demise...

Yeah, none of that crap was there! It was more than a little disconcerting. I was prepared to wade through a herd of smiling velociraptors. Imagine my delight before the conference when NYT bestseller, Addison Moore and Wonder-blogger, SupaGurl sat down at our table and actually talked to us like they were interested in what we had to say.

Enter: The Stumbler.

Then they insisted we go outside to the patio where the massive group of Who's Who had assembled. Seriously? Any of you who know me understand I'm not exactly endearingly awkward--I'm just awkward. But in spite of that, I pushed beyond my comfort zone and followed suit. Again, imagine my relief when all the awesome ladies out there smiled and waved and actually welcomed our little group.

I figured there was a good chance we'd actually fallen

 For real.

Long story relatively short, the entire conference and all the authors, readers, and bloggers there were so excited to be a part of each other's lives and success. They were incredibly supportive and enthusiastic. It wasn't one person using another to get ahead. There was no, "I've made it big, so now I'm too big for you," mentality. It was a common theme of: We all love books. Plain and simple. And when you share something as straightforward but powerful as that, there's no competition. There's no need to one-up or compare. There's just inclusion. 

At the end of the conference, the incredible Janet Wallace (hilarious creator and all-around BA woman) opened the mic to everyone there so we could talk about our experiences. What every person had to say was astounding. It wasn't about schmoozing. It wasn't about bragging. Each individual who stepped up to that podium had something genuinely life-changing to say. It was beautifully heartfelt and courageous! Believe me when I say tears abounded! Chi (aka Beth Isaacs) leaned over,

glossy-eyed, and whispered, "This is like a therapy session!"

It was one of the most moving things I've ever experienced.

I'll never forget Amanda Havard stepping up there and completely changing my outlook on life and writing. She talked about her friends in the room, making note that friends wasn't something she was good at. After years of tactics to avoid people, now she felt like she was home. She said she imagined that feeling must've been what high school and college was for everyone else. That this (this time in  her life) was her youth! And guys, that just totally struck a chord with me. The feeling that Amanda described ... it was me! Who knew anyone else felt that way? It'd only taken me 30 years to find that kind of acceptance, but it was totally worth it.

All that I learned and experienced at UtopYA is way too much to cover in one post, but I'm genuine in saying that it was life changing. If you haven't gone before, 2014 is YOUR YEAR! UtopYA 2013: What You Need to Know and Why You Need to Go in 2014. Every person there said UtopYA is their favorite conference because of the tight-knit community. I couldn't agree more. They're my family. And not even the ones you don't claim ;)

Seriously, consider going! If you want to know what's up, who's there, and what to expect, this is an awesome resource:

So, if I had to sum up my experience at UtopYA in one word, it would be INSPIRED.

Happy (and feeling included) Writing.

When I Grow Up...

My friend Chi (AKA Elizabeth Isaacs) was on Goodreads the other day, searching out new books from her favorite historical-romance author, Lisa Kleypas. She came across a work she didn't know had even been published and realized it was the Kleypas' first novel.

Naturally, Chi was interested to see what people had to say about it, but was somewhat upset to find someone had made a comment along the lines of, "It shows this is Kleypas' early work."

This got me to thinking about writing in general. We all know that more writing makes for better writing. It's a learning process and a skill that has to be honed over time. I'm sure Kleypas, like all of us, looked at her first published novel with stars in her eyes. I'm also sure she, like all of us, has grown over time and shudders when she reads her earlier work.

She's grown.

Growth is what happens when you dedicate yourself to improving your craft. Where you once struggled with showing versus telling, now you can spot that problem a mile away. Or maybe you had a problem with dialog, but you studied authors who have mastered it, and now you know how to fix those problems ... or better yet, how to avoid them altogether.

I can see even in a year's time how I've grown as a writer. My first drafts are better the first time around, so there's less to clean up. The things I battled in the past are getting a little easier now. I still have a mound of issues I'm working through, and I have a long way to go, but I can also see how far I've come.

So, I both dread and eagerly await the day when someone says,"You can tell it's her earlier work." Because to me, that means I've accomplished what I set out to do: become a better writer!

Happy writing.

Off with Your Hand!

There comes a time in every writer's career where they have to sever the hand to save the arm. For me, that time is now. Sometimes that severing involves you stopping halfway through and beginning again. Sometimes it's a matter of scrapping the entire project even though you had high hopes for it. In my case, it meant tabling it, hoping that one day it might have another opportunity (one way or another) to flourish.

I won't go into great detail with the premise, but I will say the timing of the release was extremely time sensitive. I had a required "due-date" to have the book written, edited, and published. That date was doable, but not without sacrificing tremendous time and effort I don't have to spare at the moment. Some might argue that I shouldn't bite the bullet and give it all I've got for the next few months if I truly believed in the book, but I have to disagree. And here's why...

I have a life outside that one story. Just in writing, I have a sequel to finish and a separate series to begin. There's a stand-alone I'm working on for someone else. My kiddos are in ballet and have school functions, and I have a husband who actually enjoys my company. One of my very best friends is getting married in June, and I have the privilege of being matron of honor. Then there's marketing, planning, writing, and blogging all while not being a complete shut-in.

So, yeah. I could force it to work. I could throw a bunch of crappy words onto paper and call it a book. But what a disservice to myself. How could I be proud of something I put half my heart into? Let's not forget the project itself. If anyone loves their stories at all, they want them to shine. Writers want their writing to be worthy of the story because they feel so strongly about it. Or rather, they should.


So, while it makes me sad to lay this down, maybe to never reemerge, it also encourages me that I've grown enough in my writing to know when to persevere and when not to. It isn't defeat to say not now, because not now doesn't mean not ever. You deserve to put 100% of yourself and your heart into your work. Not only that, I wholeheartedly believe my friend Chi's philosophy. She says, "I believe stories are given to us, and it's up to us to find the words to do them justice."

So be an all or nothing person!


Happy writing :D

Wordsmith Wednesday: Am I Happy About This?

I love words. All words. Even the words I don't like, I do -- which is one of the reasons I became a writer. I also love the smell of bleach, but that's neither here nor there. Even as kid, I was the little introvert who sat in the corner, perusing the dictionary or medical journals, because knowing words like "miscreant" or "Alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency" is as good as speaking Icelandic when you're eleven.

So, when my wonderful friend (and personal Yoda) Chi suggested a fun new meme, I jumped on board. And Wordsmith Wednesday was born. See here for more details.

Each Wednesday, we'll select a few words which are often misused or misunderstood. The power of words is a wonderful thing, but losing that power can be devastating when you're trying to get your point across. So, the whole idea behind Wordsmith Wednesday, is to allow people to share some of their favorite (or not-so-favorite) words and explain the differences in the way we see them or what they mean.

I'm as guilty as the next person when it comes to misapplying a meaning to a word, so I want to try and clarify my opinion. Here are a few I often see writers using interchangeably. While some may disagree, these are my thoughts.

Anxious
Anxious implies nervousness. While there may be a hint of excitement residing there, the primary emotion behind being anxious isn't a positive one. A doctor may have bad news to deliver to a family. She's experiencing dread at the thought of their reaction and having to be the one to share it. While she may want to simply get it over with, there's nothing good about her feelings.

Eager
Eager denotes a good mixture of nervousness and excitement. A new writer is expecting to hear back about a book deal. He is waiting on pins and needles, hopeful the response is a positive one, but hesitant that it might not be. Eager has the best of both worlds.

Excited
The definition of excited is: stirred emotionally; agitated. This is possibly the most wrongly used of them all, and I'm as guilty as the next. For me, excitement is simply that -- I'm happy to experience the thing I'm living through or expecting. There's no negative connotation at all. However, the dictionary would disagree with me. The original intent behind the word denotes having one's feathers ruffled, though honestly, I don't see anyone reworking this word to fit its archaic definition again any time soon.

Now you know, all three words have a similar tenor but each a different emotion. What are a few misused words you guys come across?